Tuesday, 15 April 2008

feeling selfish


i am feeling very selfish as i am feeling lonely and angry that my hubby has not even phoned or messaged me to see how our son is. he knows that he was unwell and was for a few weeks, and when he went he had a temp of just over 100degrees.

he goes to morocco 3 times a year and he usually does msn to us after a few days, but i thinks its different as our son was unwell.

im also hating the fact that i have now been stuck in my house for nearly 3 weeks, and i have no adult chat with anyone, apart from online when i talk on paltalk, or should i say listen.

well gonna go to bed as its after midnight

night night all

Saturday, 12 April 2008

hiya well my son is feeling a whole lot better, but refuses to go to his room to sleep lol, he finds it scarey without his older brother there so i have just left him.

im up late at night anyway on the paltalk room islam answers back, im usually there at night until about 1am when theres holidays. i dont talk on the mic though im too shy for that, even though i have a few questions i dont ask them lol.

well my son wants to go to pizza hut tomorrow, so will probably go in the evening, as for today i fancy a shawarma and will go to slough and get from my fav shop fatoush they do excellent food mmmmmmmmm has been long time since ive had one, due to a cut down on certain foods as im training for a 5k run for the autistic society in september, but im sure one wont hurt, as i will work my butt off working out as usual.

as hubby is i morocco until 24th i am now beginning to feel a little lonely, as im have been stuck in the house now for 3 weeks due to my son being unwell. i really need to go out, but have no one to go out with, i really need some adult company but have none where i live.

i would definatley not entertain my neighbours, they are all into drink, drugs and half the kids are pregnant, where oh where is the shame. i feel so out of sorts as my kids dont even talk the kids around here, as they tried to attack my eldest son all because he would not take a cigarette, but my son is a hell of a lot stronger than they thought and beat the heck out the boy.

so now they leave him alone and dont even look at him, as they now know hes not gonna stand there and take it, he will say NO.

im called stuck up because i dont let my kids play outside, no its common sense you are all dealing on something or other and im am not interested in that type of lifestyle i just want to be let live my life how i want, just as you do.

well thats me for now moaning on a saturday morning, as i know the day is long and not much to do. my hubby wont know where anything is as ive moved everything lol.

bye for now see ya wa salam

Thursday, 10 April 2008

so much for sleeping alone

Asalam alaikum all

well there i was thinking i would get a great nights sleep in a long time, as hubby is away and i can lie in bed as no brekkie to make. but no i go to bed last night and my son had fallen asleep on my side of the bed, why is it everyone goes to my side of the bed lol, even hubby in the day when hes resting is on my side as well as my other son when he wants to watch morocco upstairs is on my side was well. no wonder my side as a big dent in it and my hubbys side is still like new lol.

anyway i left him in my bed but moved him to his fathers side, and because hes ill i did not want to disturb him, poor thing has not eaten a proper meal since two ago now, and is beginning to look very thin and subdued, so i left him. he also finds it too lonely without his brother there to pester him lol.

but inshallah i will have my own space tonight and will spread my wings so to speak.

my brain is feeling all fizzled out as well due to studying, so i am taking a rest for the rest of the day.

finally made the tagine yesterday but my son could not eat it due to his mouth ulcer and absess.. where as today i am going to have good old egg and chips something i have not had in months and i will enjoy with lots of ketchup yummy. where as my son only wants poached egg with toast so thats fine with me.

well gonna go and inshallah will report tomorrow inshallah

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

hubby and son gone to morocco

well i have just got back from dropping off my hubby and eldest son at heathrow and they are due to fly out at 6.10pm. i am feeling really lost as when i came home it was just me and zak my youngest, as hes not well and has been off school for the past 2wks and is now on half term it hard as its too quiet. thats also why i go out when they are at school.

cant also wait for my olive oil, butter, argan oil to arrive when he comes back, and of course lots of cakes and biscuits especially chebbakkiya my fav yummy yummy.

lol cant stand the noise but i cant handle the silence either. well inshallah at least it gives me some time to catch up on uni work, although im well ahead on the next essay so should be ok this time. and inshallah my computer wont crash and delete all my work, as last month i was left with no work on my usb stick or my computer, so i had 3 days to write 2 essays one of 4000 words and the other 2,500 and neither of them will pass as the 2,500 was at least 700 sh0rt of words, but i have a second attempt on that one, but as for the 4000 one the tutor lost my first hand in and so i was told it was classed as unmarked, and so my last handin was my 2nd attempt so i am really hoping that inshallah it does ok and at least gets the 40% i need. where as the second one is my first attempt so i can now keep working on it to get it right.

well thats me gonna do a small chicken tagine for me and my son tonight, although he cant eat due to the infection he has inside his mouth from the all the sickness and dia... he had poor thing, was 4 days straight being sick and is now unable to eat still, is just chomping on pot noodles and milk lol.

well inshallah will speak soon everyone take care

Sunday, 6 April 2008

well hiya i am now on a training course for the ladies adidas london run in sept 08. i will be running for the national autistic society and i will be an autism angel, i cant wait as this will be my fist marathon run in many years.

my son has however moved secondary schools, and is doing so well is unreal, he is more positive in his outlook on life, is no longer feeling lonely as he is now among so many friends and has a good circle that he is involved with. he is also involved in basketball and practices with them every saturday and also does the trials which are on a sunday once a month.

he is even doing his homework, he comes home from school and goes straight to his room to work on his sats which are due in may. he is on a level between 7 and 8 for maths and 6 for science his english has gone down due to being out of school for so long, but is catching up and i hope for some good results.

he has also just chosen his options and is hoping to do engineering as well his extras maybe the geopgraphy and history. so well see what he gets to do.

well thats is for now as hes off to morocco with his dad for 15 days to see his other family releies on his dads side. should be a good holiday for him as hes not been in 4 years and when they last saw him he was 10 and now hes 14 and is 5ft11ins and so grown up its scary, so they will be very shocked at his change.

ok enjoy your sunday and have a great roast lol